I know how hard it is. do you?

I was in an abusive relationship. Though I did not realize how bad it was till I got out of it. See others warned me. ( I will listen to warnings now.. after the fact). 

See for me I did not endure physical pain. I never knew or realized that there were other ways to abuse. my abuser injected himself into my life when I was at a low point. (This is a first warning of abuse). The treated me nice. Once he moved in.. well to be honest we meet online, he came to visit and never left. (2nd real sign).

Said we had to get married,, hmm another sign. See these are not signs, especially from someone that is feeling low and down about themselves. Yes others said something, I was like NO he is treating us well. He started watching and doing things that put me back into oh I am not pretty, good enough, overall a bad person. Yet I stayed, I started to be afraid. Did I realize it was abuse no... I thought it was my fault.. Things would be good. Then it would happen again. We'd fight, I was trying to take care myself. He said I was doing things to get attention. I did seek that attention after hearing that for so long. He didn't leave, instead he stayed and through that in my face for many years. He verbally, emotionally and mentally abused all my kids and me. Sexual abuse to me.

Almost 5 years later I still struggle with this. Recently I realize that it was abuse from the start. Do I regret it all. No and Yes. I would not be who I am for it today if I had not been through it all. Will I make sure in the future to not get in to it.. OR leave it if I am in it.. Heck Yeah.

Know that I am seeing what abuse is.. I sometime struggle helping others. Such as a neighbor. I do not know her well, so do not know how to approach her. I feel for her. He cuts her down with words.. hits her.. she does it back.. I did that.. the  you do so I will do. No more for me. I will stand my ground and stick to my morals. That is I will give it my best shot at it.