not all about me and not all about you

If only I could remember this..
If only others could remember this...

So you do something.. not to purposely to frustrate,  piss off, even hurt...

Do ya think before hand about what you are going to do.. or have already done..
Do ya think oh, this will be the outcome..
Is the outcome going to be something that will matter in a day, a week, a month, a year, 5 years, 10 years..

But I suppose .. you really should think about it, and if it is even going to matter at all just not do it..
But what if you really do not realize it..

What if .....  You see it as something incidental and they see it as something huge.. or the other way around...

You want something and want it now.. but do you realize that there are others to consider?

Sometimes I just want to not be involved in anything with anyone.. as to not .. well .. anyway I have rambled.. this will most likely make sense to me and me only... not that anyone else is reading this..

the question not asked

I learned many years ago, that the question not asked is the dumb question.

So I am grateful for the "adults" that are with kids, that when they have a question to ask, allow them to. I issue a Wheel Chair and Crutches. ( Not at the same time.) Kids (sometimes (rarely) adults) as questions.  I have my standard "quick" answers. If the "adult" with child is open to me talking too, I go into a tad more detail.

I have learned to not take it to personal when parents do not let the kids talk to me. I ow that i them that doesn't want to know .

Where do we loose our insouciance? Are we discouraged, or is it a learned thing from the adults in our life? Maybe we can relearn it from the kids .. we just have to be to be open to it...

So I ask ya. watch the kids around you.. and just see if you can find that insouciance lost so long ago.

calling vs not calling

So here is the situation:

I live in a duplex..
Since the day I moved in.. dang the night I signed the lease was the 1st time..
Fightin.. LOUD.. screaming.. banging..

I have called once.. she was threatened.. as the cops were knockin.. I do not know how they could not hear the threat...

I have not called again- though they have fought..

This week she was fighting outside with some chick.. and said the neighbors.. * not sure she was reffering t just be or not+

Last night (sat. prior to fathers day) was a long night of being awoken..

Fightin between the 2 of them .. along with someone else.. I think the same chick as the last few weeks..

dang i know noone is reading this.. I need to change the name of the blog.. to get people to find it..

anyway fightin right now..

sigh..

arghsssssssssss

So I have the arghs right now.. tired.. overwhelmed..full ,confused.. frustrated . yadda yadda..one thing at a time. right?

Okay was a good day.. Started counselling.. really like the lady I will be seeing.. Have a great feeling that I will be able to work through a lot of things..

Had a good dinner with kids , carry and mak...

going to log off on line here in a few take a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng hottttttttttttttttttttttttt shower refill med container.. and read and get bed early ...

Being picked up around 815 ish.. going to cleveland with a friend .. he has an appointment with a surgeon.

Thursday. boys have doc... hope to change my frames of my glasses...

fri there is something.. idk right now...

more next time.. doubt anyone is reading this anyway...

Peace

swimming

swimming swimming swimming
I can wait the few more days.. as I have waited this long.
The smell of the pool... (Oh I miss the smell of the lake)
I will let my body show me how fast I shall go.. 
I want to set up a goal distance...

what would you do?

Have you ever watched the show "What would you do??" ?

Really makes you think.. you would step up and stand up for what you believe in.. What exactly do you believe in? Now I could sit here all day long and ramble on about what I believe in... but I think I will only share a few.. and if anyone is actually reading this and cares to share.. that would be awesome....

God comes first in the list of things I believe in.. with out him there is nothing else for me to believe in.. He is my Rock and my Strength . my everything....

I believe in Pro Life.. that said some may disagree that I do.. as I also believe there are certain times when intervention needs to happen.. That is for me only when either the mothers or the babies lives are at risk.

So know I suppose I have gotten off track with the "what would you do?" not really..

What would you do if you heard a young girl talking about abortion? Would you go up to her and talk to her.. and tell her how you feel and help her to learn all the options? or would you just sit there and not guide her?

If you saw someone needing help .. would u?

If a child was being hut would you step in and help.. or get help?

I think we have become .. "we better not's"  afraid of what might happen. or it will take time out of  my day. wow now that cannot happen right??? WRONG!

.

its quiet but loud

My room is quiet.. the sounds of the fan, the soft breathing of my daughter asleep on my bed.. outside my door in the next room my son sits in the dark watching tv.. every so often a car goes by.. that is the loudness that breaks the sweet quietness of the things close to me...

todays ramblings

So i woke up and finished the book I was reading.. decided to go play bingo-- win small prizes..I picked some candy bars and drink mixes..time with other adults..then on way home I stopped to see if I could get a list of classes at YMCA well they are online now. dang there are still a few people out there that cannot or donot get online.. anyway I do and can.. So i continue on my way.. decide to long and to hot to wait for alex so on i rolled.. than oh me oh my i realized my shoe was gone... yeah i had it setting on the foot rest.. so around I turn.. yeah found it about a block back.. meet boys at the corner and we went to the store... almost.. home the chair started to die.. but home safe and sound.. now.. chillaxing..

Are you more a giver or a reciever

Life is abt give and take.. But do you give or take more.. Do you think of others before yourself....God wants us to give.. You will be given more in return that is good for you then if you give and except things in return.

When was the last time you did something for someone else that was good and didn't even blink an eye.

Way I see it you can give with something as simple as helping someone load bags into their car..How about just  a smile and hi. that smile and hi just may change someones day. Giving comes from the heart and does not mean you have to spend money just spend you thoughts time and love....

This is what I got out of the Church Service at Church tonight..

So what are you gonna do ..

Is the social actually making us anti-social?

This is something I know has been talked about. I am just now waking up to the idea of it having some truth.

Are the social networks actually making us anti-social?

I only signed up for the social net work FB for one reason.. that one reason was that there were going to be a few of us 3-5 have a place that we could have a "study" log for a class.  I went on saying that is it that is all no more.. lots less..  Only 3 people signed onto this group, myself and one other . Oh and the one that wanted the group. He i suppose vanished in the the realm of the social part of this network as he never posted. so the study group was dead soon after its birth.

So in this short time my kids wanted me to add them as friends.. slowly over the last few years I have had up to 300 friends, I cannot even tell you who 99% of them are. They are there a link to me somehow.. friend and family long forgotten , newly found. these are wonderful diamond in the rough.. yes in deed..

Over time I started to get some requests for friendship.. who are you I think to myself.. okay take a look see why they may want to be your friend. AH they have NF (neurofibromatosis) okay ADD.. Church friend..okay ADD.. kids friends.. okay ADD.. Hi I am (so and so) I am an amputee.. KEWL ADD..the snow ball is now a snow MAN as tall as the sears building. That is in my little mind.

So okay now have this list of friends.. I am not sure which son showed me.. glad he did.. at that time.. the game applications.. Something that a recovering addict like myself should have a WARNING DO NOT CLICK HERE sign attached. So I jump..Okay HOP (no comments from the peanut gallery) into these applications (APS).. slowly only thinking are my crops ready, do I need to feed the animals, is the food burnt..The laundry can wait.. eat.. right after I.. seed the farm..

A bright light came on this last week.. was it because I have over 100 books that I have gotten at the local lib. book store for the price of what 2 would cost.. Is it the weather outside.. could it be this or that.. OR am I seeing that I spend more time online then I do sleeping.. So I decided to take a summer vacation.. I turned off all my applications.. dared others to do so to... that is up to them .. them to evaluate for themselves if they are becoming anti social like I feel I am.

Back and ready to share..

So.. Kids say it is time to blog. I agree.

It is early Sunday morning, way early as it is 12:41. I sit here with my daughter next to me. She is on her computer doing her thing as I am on mine doing mine. On the TV is the Rocky Horror Picture show.

All around me are things outta place. Clothes, books, clothes, books.. oh wait there are some papers here and there to.

I am beginning to turn off APS on FB and read more. More power for the brain.

So for now I will go and finish the movie and see about getting something called sleep..

When I awake I start the day with a smile..